Today I Lost a Friend
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When I write out my address, I don’t typically include “United States of America” under the state and zipcode. ย It’s assumed. ย But if I decide to send my cousins in England a present, I’d be sure to mention it.
When I speak, write a blog post, or share a link to a video that I find entertaining, I don’t typically include disclaimers letting others know that they may not agree with the content that I share. ย It’s assumed that we’ll have a difference of opinion. But if I decide to share something that I feel may not be suited for others to listen to, read, or watch (especially children), I’d be sure to mention it.
Differences in opinion are okay. ย Actually, I fully expect it to happen, especially as a blogger. ย Yes, I tend to stick to my “faith” topics that are somewhat safe, but I have posted some that may be seen as controversial in this niche that I write.
I don’t always agree with the content that other bloggers publish and there’s plenty of things that I don’t agree with on social media, but do I make it my objective to criticize and condemn others because of their views or stance on a matter? ย No.
If a “friend” of mine posts something that I think they may need clarification on, sure I’ll comment with my views, but do I expect them to change their ways and believe what I believe? ย No.
Common courtesy and respect go a long way, especially in this day and age where everyone shares way too much of themselves with the public. ย Glossing over news feeds and comments is the safer and more tactful approach.
Going with the lessons that my parents taught me at a very young age has also helped me to determine the best approach on certain topics and subject matters in the realm of Facebook and other social media platforms:
- If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.
- Be the bigger person (don’t try and fight negativity with more negativity).
- Kill ’em with kindness.
Unfortunately not everyone’s mom and dad did as good of a job as mine did in instilling these lessons. ย So they find no issue in taking a stance and spewing words that are far from being constructive. ย And they feel empowered by their “boldness” as they hide behind their computer screens and private messages.
So with the old adage, I say, “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face.”
Or have enough “boldness” to share your thoughts as a public comment. ย Or consider having at least the decency to state it in a manner that is adult-like.
Today, I lost a friend. ย It was unexpected because it was over a simple video I posted to my timeline late at night because I couldn’t sleep.
It was sad because negative comments were shared even though my intent was only to share the sheer glee of children when a Beluga whale “played” with them in a manner that I’ve never seen before.
It was sad because a private message was sent after I stood up for myself and explained the reason for sharing a video of a “caged animal”. ย It was sad because the private message called meย judgmentalย and that I use my religion as a way toย justify my behavior.
It was sad because my apology for sharing “offensive” content wasn’t enough, and so I was subjected to a comment that said, “I have always been nice to you but I do not need people in my life that expect me to be part of their group mentality, Bree. It is people like that that caused the Holocaust etc.”
Whoa! ย Wait, the Holocaust!?! ย Really? ย Please tell me what genocide has to do with a video of a Beluga whale and some giggly kids!
A part of me hurts because this individual thinks that that kind of statement is justified since I’m a Christian. ย A part of me hurts because I’m sure that I’m not the only one that this individual has treated with such intolerance and hatred.
I’m a Christian who stands up for myself. I will not apologize for that. I don’t throw my religion in people’s faces and I certainly don’t force anyone to read any of my posts or watch any of the videos that I include links to.
I also don’t expect anyone to be anything other than himself/herself. ย Everyone is permitted to their own views. ย I respect that. ย But I have to ask, is it too much for me to expect the same in return?
Today I lost a friend, but I also stood up for who I am and what I believe. ย
I call that a win.
Wow. Sounds like a friend that it’s best to cut ties with, honestly.
You know me and my willingness to stand up for my beliefs, too ๐ You also know that not everyone agrees with me and that I’ve dealt with my share of drama because of it, so I know how this goes.
I generally gloss over things I disagree with, but when it’s someone I care about, and something I feel strongly about, I do privately message them, because I don’t want them to feel like they’re being publicly called out or corrected (some things are best done in private). Though I also believe in private messages we should still be respectful… unfortunately it doesn’t always go over well…
Hugs to you!
Vanessa, as I was writing this post, I thought of you and some of the backlash that you’ve received from people. It’s a shame that it came down to hurtful words, but I’m not sorry to see that “friendship” go. I agree that private messages can be used to discreetly discuss things however I do not agree with using it as a way of empowering oneself because it is private, so that no others are able to come to the aid of the one receiving the lashing of words. Thanks for the words of encouragement!
Bree,
As someone that has known you for many many years, I am proud to call you friend and lifelong sister thanks to our years in Rainbow. I am sorry you lost a friend over something as silly as a whale video, but I have to believe that God puts those so called “friends” in our lives to teach us what true friends are. So keep on posting your cute videos and standing up for what you believe in! You are an amazing, inspiring woman, and those of us that you call friend are lucky to have someone like you in our lives.
Oh Meg, you brought tears to my eyes with this one! Thank you so much for your heartfelt words of love and encouragement. Though we haven’t seen each other in forever, you and all of our Rainbow Girls hold a special place in my heart! I’m lucky to have you on my side. Hugs, dear friend!
oh.my.word. I am so sorry for that! I believe social media is such an imperfect way of communicating and people hide behind their screens and don’t even realize the full extent of postings, comments, messages, etc. Great job for being able to stand up for yourself!!
Visiting from Coffee For Your Heart.
Sarah, I so agree with you! Social media IS an imperfect way of communicating, but striking out with the intention to hurt others is just uncalled for! I appreciate your positive thoughts and that you stopped by! Be blessed.
Wow. People are so angry. It is best that you “unfriended” this person. Negative people can be very destructive.
I know, right!?! Ain’t nobody got time for that! ๐ Thanks for reading and taking time to comment, Lisa. Hope you’ll visit again soon!
Just… wow. Some people will find any reason to try and attack our faith and our beliefs. There is a difference of opinions – and then there is just plain ol’ hostility! I’m glad God gave you the strength to stand up for yourself and to separate yourself from a negative voice in your life.
Beckey
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Everyone’s reaction is pretty much on par with mine…just WOW! I fully agree, difference of opinions happen, but hostility is never the answer. Thanks for stopping by Beckey! I’ll be sure to swing by your corner of the web soon. Be blessed!
What, how in the world did they work the holocaust into it?!?!?!?!?! It’s honestly so out there it’s actually funny. I am totally one to get hurt if I know someone has unfriended me, but there are times where it’s better that way than staying friends with someone who will blame you or “people like you” for the holocaust. I’m really proud of you for sticking to what you believe!
Thanks for your support, Chantel! It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who thinks this is pretty darn laughable. That comment was just so far out there that though I was appalled by it, I did laugh out loud. The absurdity of it, especially in relation to an innocent video of a whale…well, you just can’t make this stuff up!