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Day Ten // The Best Yes

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Managing Demands Means Understanding Expectations / Ch. 10 – Pages 114 to 124

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Today’s post comes to us from the host of The Intentional Filling, Bree Blum.

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Father God, I am clay in your hands.  Let me stay that way through all life’s demands, cause they chip and they nag and they pull at me, and every little thing I make up my mind to be. – tobyMac

This world is so demanding.  It barks orders, it pulls you in all different directions; playing to your weaknesses and it tells you’re not this or that, the very thing that you desire to be.

When I was in grad school, I became involved in Amnesty International.  For the most part, I believed in the mission of the organization, but I was mainly there for the attention of cute guys and since I was still in that phase of trying to find myself.

It was one of the most liberal times of my life and I felt like I was walking around in someone else’s shoes.  Sure they fit and I liked the style alright, but my feet weren’t lining up to a familiar groove.  It was foreign and so unlike anything I had ever experienced.

And before I knew it, the people-pleasing, registered Republican, conservative, church-going Bree somehow got wrangled into organizing a trip to Washington, D.C. for a war protest.

Are you shocked?  I know I am, still, even to this day!

I knew the demands of the group and I thought I knew what to expect from the description of my liberal boyfriend (who had never actually been to a protest before), but I’m pretty sure my face looked quite similar to Lysa’s after her disastrous hairdo, upon our arrival.

Let me just tell you how much I wish I would have read this book before renting two cars to haul our rowdy bunch to the nation’s capitol for such an occasion!

I have to assess the expectations and responsibilities that come with each thing I say yes to.  This is an important step in determining whether this choice I’m making is a Best Yes.

What valuable advice!

Had I stopped to think things through and dedicated time to fully evaluating the situation, I should have packed up my AI stickered notebook and went home.

I love the questions Lysa poses in this chapter to help us determine if the demands that are chipping, nagging and pulling at us are realistic for our current season of life, and ultimately if accepting them is a way to employ a best yes decision.

Let’s revisit them:

  • It feels thrilling to say yes to this now.  But how will this yes feel in two weeks, two months, and six months from now?
  • Do any of the expectations that come from this yes feel forced or frantic?
  • Could any part of this yes be tied to people pleasing and allowing that desire to skew my judgement of what’s realistic and unrealistic?
  • Which wise (older, grounded in God’s Word, more experienced, and more mature) people in my life think this is a good idea?
  • Are there any facts I try to avoid of hide when discussing this with my wise advisors?   (Page 119 & 120)

Let’s revisit my situation:

  • Had I taken a moment to consider what leading this type of event would mean for me in the weeks and months to follow, I’m pretty sure I would have backed out.
  • I definitely felt frantic trying to pull things together quickly and with very little resources.  There’s nothing more uncomfortable that trying to force something that doesn’t quite fit into a mold and that was my experience, through and through.
  • Hi, my name is Bree and I’m a people pleaser.  Whew, I said it!
  • I’m still not sure my parents even know about this crazy adventure I went on…’nough said!

Quote from The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst via The Imperfect Vessel Book Study - imperfectvessel.com

“So if the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not become empty.  I shall not live in a constant state of disappointment where circumstances drain me dry.”  – Lysa TerKeurst

I survived that trip, though it was touch-and-go for a few minutes when one of the cars in our caravan hit a dead deer on the interstate going 60 MPH!  Praise God no one got hurt, and I had bought the extra insurance on the rental!

The way that I think of it, it was a learning experience that God placed in my life.  One that He allows me to think back to, especially in the times I get an itch for doing something uncharacteristic or without much thought.

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We all go through it, a season of life where it seems that every relationship, job and commitment is pulling us in twelve different directions; each demanding of our attention.  How do you come to a conclusion of which direction you should be heading?

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