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[alert color=”black”]TODAY’S READING – Ch. 9: Leap Into What Matters (Pg. 90 – 102)[/alert]

There’s a note in my iPhone from November 6, 2013 titled, Responsibilities.  In it I have listed 12 activities that I needed to attend my focus to during the week.  If I added up the time that each of those activities required I would arrive at an unhealthy amount of time of busyness.

Being that we’re nearly half way through 2015, it may seem strange to keep a list of responsibilities, many that I no longer tend to, as just another piece of data taking up space.  But this note with its list of 12 items has become a gentle reminder of the life that I am NOT called to live.

I was running two businesses, a blog and working full time.  I was volunteering my time to serve as a sign language interpreter at my church, teach basic signing classes, working on developing my writing skills in two different online programs, participating in an online book study, attending and leading multiple church services each week and attempting not to lose my mind in the midst of it all.

Busy to me, like Lara, was a way that I measured my own success. I used this four letter word to try to prove to myself that I was on the right track and that all of my effort was worthwhile.  Friends would say, “You’re the busiest person I know”, and I’d smile like it was the best compliment I could ever receive.

But with all the busyness, instead of feeling full (like my schedule), I just felt empty.

Trying to find a balance of work, doing things that I am passionate in and things that will help me grow into the woman that God desired me to be is hard.  I’m a planner and I like to have my color-coded schedule established weeks in advance so that I know where to be when, what to expect and to make sure I don’t miss out on something good.

Though my schedule was full of things that I enjoyed a few years ago, for the most part, I was missing out on some really important things.  The things that matter most.  I missed birthday parties for my friend’s kids.  I missed dinner dates with friends because they just assumed I was too busy (because that was usually my excuse), so they didn’t bother calling.  I missed out on the joy that there was to be had.  And I missed out on what God has designed me to have, true joy.

Danielle LaPorte shares on her blog her definition of true joy in comparison to happiness.

“Happiness is always passing through. It can claim your full attention for the ten seconds it takes to swallow a sip of incredible coffee. Or it can stream through your being for weeks on end. But happiness can’t hold the same space as sadness, or anger, or the range of so-called “negative” emotions for very long. This is why it’s transitory.

Joy is the fibre of your Soul. It’s the stuff of your essence. And since you, your Soul, can never be annihilated (yes, that would make you eternal and omnipresent), your access to joy never vanishes.”

Sure I had plenty of happiness.  When a design was completed for my freelance business and the money came rolling in.  Or the time that I got to spend with folks from church teaching them sign and the fits of giggles we’d have over learning the appropriate techniques.  But those were fleeting moments.  The emptiness was still there, gnawing at me and threatening to swallow me up.

Something had to change, but I couldn’t see where I could possibly step back.  I was needed in all of these roles.  If I backed out, I’d surely disappoint someone.  If I said no, then I might miss out on a great opportunity.

But just like God, He stepped in and saved my bacon.  (Yes, I did say bacon…I’m hungry!)  My design business was drying up. And since the clients weren’t flooding in, my finances were quickly drying up as well.  With my sign language business never turning a profit, I took it as a sure sign to move on from these ventures and begin pursuing my blog with a new fervor.

With a different focus, some of the other 12 items from my list of responsibilities began to be scratched off.  Soon I was down to a more manageable schedule, one that still kept me on my toes, but one that allowed for more of me to shine rather than the glistening drops of sweat.

In the multitude of anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul.  {Psalm 94:19}

Today I am still working to find a balance.  Some weeks are better than others.  Some days I allow the excitement of busyness to sweep me away into either thinking I’m on the right track or in a panicked frenzy.  It’s a burden I must lay down at the feet of Jesus on a regular basis.  But in the act of laying it down, I’m finding that I am learning that its not what I do, but what Christ has done for me that matters.

And really, what else matters more than His gift of salvation?

[alert color=”black”]DAILY TASK
Are you moving so fast that you feel like you are missing out on your life? Write out everything you plan to do in the next 24-hours in your Study Journal or a notebook and date it.  Be specific and detailed in your account.  In reviewing your list, what can you cross out to stay focused on what really matters?[/alert]

A little music for the journey…

Have you ever listened to KLOVE and the perfect song comes on at just the moment you need to hear it?  Or have you ever needed a song to put at the end of a blog posts and the perfect lyrics pop into your head.  Yea, me too!  😉  Here’s what God inspired!

 Supplies for the journey…

• Have you joined our exclusive Facebook group?
  The Intentional Filling is a place to grow in your faith individually, but also grow through the life experiences, prayers and support of the community members.
• Want a daily reminder to be strong and courageous?
  Order the Print Pack of 3 – 8×10 digital prints designed by the community’s own Betsy Gettis, exclusively for the Intentional Filling community.

[divider type=”dashed” color=”grey”] [row-start] [three-fourths]Bree Blum is a 32 year old cardigan-wearing blogger who loves Jesus.  She lives in Wheeling, WV where she serves in her church as a sign language interpreter and works full time as an Administrative Assistant for a technology firm.  She has a passion for women’s ministry and speaking life into others despite her own introverted tendencies.

You can connect with her on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.[/three-fourths] [one-fourth][/one-fourth] [row-end]