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The Ugly Truth

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Today I had to take a trip to the eye doctor’s to pick up my incredible new glasses (pictures to come), but on my way there, I passed a place from my past and the ugly truth of past decisions stared me straight in the face and it was a truth that was difficult to swallow.

I was twenty years old, freshly out of a serious, yet terribly manipulative relationship and looking for anything to fill the void that that relationship left. ย I felt like there was a hole punched through me, one so large that the sunlight bled through. The edges were raw and I did everything I could to try to patch them up to make myself “whole” again. Unfortunately a lot of those fillers were decisions that I immediately regretted making. Ones that caused the little voice in my head to scream out.

I proceeded to the doctor’s office with these decisions weighing heavily on my mind and did my best to focus on the new, super cute and funky pair of glasses I picked out nearly a month ago. ย I did my best to focus on whether or not they needed to be adjusted or if the fit was just right. ย And then it hit me as I walked out of the office. ย I had a new focus, and not just because I was looking through new frames with a new prescription.

My focus has changed over the past 10 years. ย I’ve strayed from my selfish nature of trying to fit things into that void, in order to make myself feel complete. ย Instead, I’ve adopted a nature of allowing Jesus to fill up the empty spaces; becoming complete through Him and not relying on others to do it for me.

I passed the place from my past on my way back to work and instead of looking at it as a symbol of my raw, selfish decisions, I looked at it as a scar, one that has healed and made me stronger and more capable to face tomorrow and the next day, and the day after that. ย Sometimes the ugly truth has to surface to remind us that the past is just that, the past and the future is what’s worth living for.

โ€œFor I know the plansย I have for you,โ€ย declares theย Lord, โ€œplans to prosperย youย and not toย harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.โ€
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

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