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Nashville // Let’s All Be Brave

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Have you ever asked a question that you really didn’t want the answer to?

I was engaged at the age of 18.  You see my parents were high school sweethearts and have been together since they were fourteen and sixteen.  In my eyes, I thought that was how love worked.  You fell in love in high school and it was happily ever after after that.

So I was engaged, but I was deeply misguided in this love thing and deep down inside of me I knew it.

One night my fiance had come over to watch a movie, but part way through he informed me that he’d be going to a friends house for the night.  A siren sounded within my heart, screaming that something was about to go terribly wrong, and so I pleaded with him to go straight home when he left.

He wasn’t convinced that there was any reason for alarm and so as I watched him get into his car and pull away, I somehow knew that was the end of our relationship.

The following afternoon a friend confronted me with a rumor she had heard. Though her words sliced through my heart, I knew that I had to be cut even deeper and ask a question in order to confirm my suspicions.

“Did you sleep with Nicole?” I managed to squeak out, though a lump in my throat was threatening to choke me.

“Yes” was all he said.

 

“In October 2007, I started to feel something unsettled in my spirit.  That’s the best way I can describe it.”

My question was much different than the question that Annie asked God.  But both questions required great courage.  First, to ask the question itself, putting into words something that you can’t quite wrap your brain around.  And second, for being willing to receive an answer that you know full well might not be what you want to hear.

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