Whoa is Bree
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I do NOT like spiders, but for some reason they like my mailbox and they especially like crawling out of it just as I’m reaching in to grab my mail. Screaming, gagging noises and all-out body tremors usually take place whenever that happens. (My poor neighbors!)
So even though I’ve had my share of those freak-outs, I’ve also experienced other instances just as frightful…at least they are in my mind.
You see, one of my greatest pleasures in life is working with children and I cannot wait for the day that I can visit Carter’s or The Children’s Place to buy adorable, miniature outfits for my own kids, instead of my friends’ or family member’s. And so when it appears that there was a chemical spill of fertility drugs in the local water supply, and more and more friends begin showing off their baby bumps, I quietly begin to have a mild panic attack.
I panic over the “what-ifs” and the possibility that I’ll never have the opportunity to purchase maternity clothes (not including that sweater I bought from Target by mistake, that may or may not have been clearly labeled), or be doted upon at a baby shower, or have one of those fun “reveal” parties that are all the rage on Pinterest right now.
I begin to worry if I’m wasting time and should be looking for a better job that would allow me to afford raising a child on my own, should I ever decide to consider fostering or adoption. I begin to think about what amazing grandparents my parents could be, and am saddened that it’s taking so long to give them that title.
I cringe at just thinking of what life would be like crawling around after a toddler in my forties. And I look to the heavens as I wonder if it’ll ever be, “my time”.
But even in the midst of these fears and anxieties, I know that I have a great and glorious God who loves me and wants to provide me rewards, in His own time, and so I sit and wait and know that if it’s meant to be, He’ll make it happen. And as I sit and wait, all I can do is smile to myself and think of all the dirty diapers that I’m NOT changing right now!
Now it’s your turn!
What’s your biggest fear as a single person? Comment below or send me a tweet!
Bree,
I am not sure if I will ever hit submit on this reply, but I felt the need to type this out anyway.
You are a sweet, caring, hardworking individual. You are a complete and perfect person as you are. It truly saddens me when I see perfectly good women who are down upon themselves because they are not half of a pair.
Society has dictated that we are more whole when we are part of a whole. Why? As we age, we become ever more obsessed with being a duo, it becomes our passion, our drive, and it causes us to have a horrid stench of desperation, that only serves to deter what may become our our future mate.
You have accomplished (on your own), what some women never can do on their own. You are self sufficient, loved, hard working, and productive member of society, that gives back to your community. I completely understand you longing for a child, but again, by providing the gift of a loving, safe, caring home to a foster or adoptive child (that may otherwise, never know a loving home), you receive the gift of motherhood (without the stretch marks or sagging body parts).
I am so grateful for a few simple words that my mother spoke to me in passing. These words struck a nerve with me, and until a few years ago, she didn’t realize what an impact they had in my life decisions. Those words? “Don’t ever look for a man to complete your life, that is your job. Find a man who compliments your life, and be a compliment to his life” Bree, I wish you find that compliment to your life, and realize that your life is already complete. I wish that for you with all the love in my heart.
Oh Shannon, I wish I could hug you!
Thank you for hitting submit on your response! I am so appreciative of your sentiments and incredibly kind words. It moves me to know that even though our friendship is strictly “virtual” due to our distance, that you still felt compelled to remind me of all of the things that I do my best to remind myself each and every day. Your mom’s words are so beautiful and so true! Thank you so much for sharing them with me.
I do want to reassure you that I am not always so “mopey” about being single. Be sure to check out “Singleness” under my list of categories on the right panel of the blog. There’ll you’ll see some more uplifting and positive postings about my current walk alone. Thank you again for your kindness, support and candid response to a fear that so many singles face. Hugs!!!
Mine is not being able to have any more kids…. The fear that I’ll be too old when I finally find someone …. Or that I will never find someone and be lonely the rest of my life.
Lauren, that goes pretty much hand in hand with my fears…except that I haven’t had any kids. I appreciate your time in responding and hope that you know that you’re not alone in your daily worries and struggles. By the way, you should check out The Single Woman’s book! I think you’d really like it! http://goo.gl/vAjzeC
Bree, my lovely and amazing friend, I just wanted to write you a little note. A note that says thank you for your blog posts about being single. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with being single and I stumbled across your blog from one of your tweets. To read that I’m not the only one who struggles with ‘when will it be my turn?’ makes it a little bit easier knowing that there are others out there who can relate. So thank you for posting about something that a lot of people find hard to admit to, and thank you for being in my life. 🙂
Rhea,
You don’t understand how much this message has made my day! I started blogging as a way to clear my head of my ongoing thoughts and ideas, but suddenly found a voice after reading “The Single Woman” by Mandy Hale (I highly recommend this book!!! – http://goo.gl/vAjzeC) and I’m so blessed to know that my messages have spoken to you as well!
You’re absolutely right, you’re not alone in this. It sometimes feels like it as we walk the journey of life without a partner, but in the daily struggles and loneliness, you’re not the only one encountering these feelings. Allow this time to be one that you can let God fill those empty spaces and mold you and shape you so that when the right guy comes along, you’re in the exact place that he needs you to be. Many hugs and much love to you, my friend! Oh & why isn’t Scotland closer?
Ill be buying that book ASAP! It sounds like something that would be right up my street!
Oh & if you’re buying the book, buy a new highlighter too! You will be dog-earring the pages and highlighting nearly every other word, but you’ll also be left with an incredible wealth of understanding of just how powerful singleness can be! Happy reading, dear friend!
Thanks Bree! I’m thinking that I was really meant to stumble across that tweet of yours. 🙂
He does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t He?