Week Three | Seen, Known, Loved

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Week Three | Get Out of Your Head Online Book Study
Reading Assignments – Ch. 7, 8 & 9
Listen to the Audio version | Read time 6-minutes

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Recently I came across some photos of me from around four years ago.  The photos were nothing special, just some snapshots of a night out with friends, but looking at those photos was heartbreaking.  So much sadness can be seen in my eyes and my smile doesn’t reach quite as high as it typically would.  The “me” in those photos was sad, alone, and broken. She was the furthest from her Heavenly Father that she had ever been before. 

After the loss of my grandpa in 2015, I struggled with deep bouts of depression and anxiety.  I was filled with an army of emotions, thoughts, and questions.  My thoughts were waging war against me, and I was unprepared to fight back.  My thoughts were quite literally taking over my life.  As Jennie states in chapter seven, 

“The epicenter of the battleground…begins in your thought life.  You aren’t what you eat.  You aren’t what you do.  You are what you think.”

jennie Allen, get out of your head (pg. 62)

In the year following my grandfather’s death, I began to surround myself with a group of friends.  These friends were great at helping me distract my mind and numb the pain.  In reality, I was using the shallowness of these friendships as a shield.  My fleshly desires were distracting me from the battle taking place in my mind and my heart.   

On the surface level, it felt great to be around these friends because I knew I would never have to talk about all the things that were hurting me.  I would never have to air out the wounds in my heart to let the healing process begin.  What I didn’t know is that these feelings could only last so long.  As it says in Romans 8:13, “If you live according to the flesh you will die.”  Friends, I can testify that when I placed my life into the hands of the world, I was completely dead inside.   

Silence felt dangerous for me, so I kept myself busy.  Even with the busyness and distractions, my heart ached to share the hurts I experienced, the pains I still felt, and the lies that had become my truths.  So, in a moment of vulnerability with one of the guys in the group, I felt comfortable enough to be open about the mental attacks I faced daily.  

Rejection is never easy, but harsh rejection cuts just a bit deeper.  As I shared with this friend how I felt, I didn’t get the response I had hoped for.  Instead, I was told to “get over myself.”  He made it clear that no one would ever love me enough to care for the broken pieces of my heart. From that moment, and for another almost two years, I never attempted to share with anyone again.  John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy,” and I allowed him to do just that in my life for a period of almost three years.  

In the spring of 2018, I started attending a new church.  An announcement was made that a women’s retreat would be happening and all were welcome.  Though I knew no one who was going to be attending, I knew that I needed to be there.  Unbeknownst to me, God had placed me in this space, at this exact moment,  so he, and I, could begin healing my heart.  

In chapter 8, Jennie discusses the story of Saul, a man who actively persecuted Christ-followers, as he encountered Jesus on the road to Damascus.  All worldly distractions, including his sight, were removed from Saul.  Only when he was blinded to the world could he truly see clearly.  

“Like Saul, when we turn our thoughts from our problems to the only One who holds the solution in His hands, we gain wisdom we’d not otherwise have.  We gain insight we’d not otherwise experience.  We find One who is willing to help us and able to help us and thus uniquely poised to intervene.”

Jennie Allen | Get out of your head (Pg. 76)

During the weekend retreat I spent with an amazing group of Godly women, my distractions were removed from me and I could finally see the One through which I would be set free.  That weekend, surrounded by women who are now part of my community, one that we are created to be a part of, my journey to healing began.  

Two years later, surrounded by this same group of women, my “tribe” as Jennie may call them, I am still walking this journey.  Only now, I have my community, my Father, and a whole arsenal of tools to fight the most important battle of my life.   

Friends, allow yourself to be seen, allow yourself to be known, and allow yourself to be loved.  Remember, you have a choice.  “Draw near to God and he will draw near to you” (James 4:8)

COMMUNITY CHAT

Identify – In this week’s reading assignment, Jennie shares that fighting the battle for our minds is one of the biggest challenges in today’s world.  Creating silent time with God and surrounding yourself with a community of believers are two tools to take to this battle.

Join the Discussion – Do you tend to isolate when you feel emotionally spent?  In what ways could you add silent time with God and community to your lives?

Share with us in the comments; we’d love to hear from you!