Whoa is Bree

It was my intention to blog about “singleness” only on Saturdays, but I forgot about my draft this past Saturday and posted it yesterday instead. Then out of curiosity, I checked the list of inspirations of blog topics for the 30 day challenge set up by The Single Woman and it suddenly became very apparent that my original intent was going by the way of the curious cat!

Being single and female makes life challenging sometimes.  I’m not tall enough to reach the top shelf of my kitchen cabinets and I’m not strong enough to rearrange my furniture on a whim, as I sometimes wish I could.  Luckily I have enough storage space at a level that I can reach and my furniture is all situated in arrangements that are conducive to the space in which it sits.  The biggest challenge I face in living alone, however, is taking care of the creepy crawlies that make their way into my townhouse.

I do NOT like spiders, but for some reason they like my mailbox and they especially like crawling out of it just as I’m reaching in to grab my mail. Screaming, gagging noises and all-out body tremors usually take place whenever that happens. (My poor neighbors!)

So even though I’ve had my share of those freak-outs, I’ve also experienced other instances just as frightful…at least they are in my mind.

You see, one of my greatest pleasures in life is working with children and I cannot wait for the day that I can visit Carter’s or The Children’s Place to buy adorable,  miniature outfits for my own kids, instead of my friends’ or family member’s. And so when it appears that there was a chemical spill of fertility drugs in the local water supply, and more and more friends begin showing off their baby bumps, I quietly begin to have a mild panic attack.

I panic over the “what-ifs” and the possibility that I’ll never have the opportunity to purchase maternity clothes (not including that sweater I bought from Target by mistake, that may or may not have been clearly labeled), or be doted upon at a baby shower, or have one of those fun “reveal” parties that are all the rage on Pinterest right now.

I begin to worry if I’m wasting time and should be looking for a better job that would allow me to afford raising a child on my own, should I ever decide to consider fostering or adoption. I begin to think about what amazing grandparents my parents could be, and am saddened that it’s taking so long to give them that title.

I cringe at just thinking of what life would be like crawling around after a toddler in my forties. And I look to the heavens as I wonder if it’ll ever be, “my time”.

But even in the midst of these fears and anxieties, I know that I have a great and glorious God who loves me and wants to provide me rewards, in His own time, and so I sit and wait and know that if it’s meant to be, He’ll make it happen. And as I sit and wait, all I can do is smile to myself and think of all the dirty diapers that I’m NOT changing right now!

Now it’s your turn!

What’s your biggest fear as a single person? Comment below or send me a tweet!