What is Love… {EROS}

Last Friday was Valentine’s Day.  Did you celebrate?  Did you wrap yourself in hues of red and pink?  Did you eat little chalky hearts with funny phrases on them?

It’s considered THE day of love; where you wine and dine with your sweetie.  Honestly, I’m not one for celebrating the day, single or fully attached in a relationship.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m all about romance and the thought of being wooed by someone special, but ONE day out of a 365 day calendar?  Why limit ourselves, and at the same time put so much pressure on ourselves (and our loved ones) to pull off a picture perfect, or movie quality day?

Shouldn’t we find ways to celebrate the love of a lifetime throughout the entire year?

So today, even though I’m single (and have been for some time), I’m going to do my best to talk about the kind of love that God desires for each of us; the love between two people that defies understanding.  One that sometimes consumes us.  One that gives flight to those butterflies in our bellies and sets our hearts on fire.

In continuing with C.S. Lewis’s writing of The Four Loves as we have focused on Storge (family love), Philos (friendly love), today we’ll focus on Eros, a romantic love.

“Eros (ἔρως) for C.S. Lewis was love in the sense of ‘being in love’ or ‘loving’ someone.”  He explains that this type of love is more than the raw sexuality and carnal desires (Venus), that is sometimes associated with the word, especially considering the term “erotica” is derived from it.  Lewis describes it as turning “the need-pleasure of Venus into the most appreciative of all pleasures.” (Source)

It’s a love that provides us the sense of security, a hope for the future and feeling of appreciation.  It’s a love that is easy to get caught up in and allows the imagination to run free; where dreams of a future together even before the discussion of marriage is ever initiated often takes place.

And these feelings are normal.  They’re expected, but Lewis also warns in his book to be careful not to allow this type of love to govern your life.  Don’t allow this special someone to be given so much worth that you exalt them to a higher authority than God.  And do not allow yourself to submit to the justification of selfishness in forgoing all other relationships so that you can solely focus on the one with your significant other.

God desires for us to have companionship; one that digs deeper than a mutual friendship.  Genesis 2 provides evidence of this when the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  Genesis 2:18 ESV

John reminds us that love itself is a gift from God.  “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”  1 John 4:7-8 ESV

And God even instructs us through the book of Ephesians of how we are to express this type of love (Eros).  “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”  Ephesians 5:25

Above all, God desires for us to live in a love that is sacrificial and founded in faith.

Instead of listing ways for you express your love for your significant other, I decided to share some great resources that I have collected as “future advice” for when the time comes that I am able to proudly call myself a wife.  I pray that these will inspire you to look at your relationship and determine what areas can be made better and allow you to grow further in love (Eros) with one another and love with God!

• 31 Days to a Better Marriage – Written By 30 Different Contributors
• Books to Help You Grow as a Couple – Seeing Sunshine
• 50 Best Christian Marriage Quotes of 2011 – To Love Honor and Vacuum
• 7 Days of Marriage Wisdom – Proverbs 31 Ministries