Oh, Baby! Not Yet Married & Not Yet a Mother

As a single woman, these inevitable baby booms can be downright depressing.  Endless numbers of invites to baby showers fill mailboxes, which lead to purchases of miniature outfits for other people’s children and attending parties where we play silly and sometimes disgusting games (like eating strained peas and spinach to determine which is which…uh, puh-lease!?! don’t play this at your baby shower) to appease the next momma-to-be.

It’s rough.  It’s tiring and it hurts.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love babies and I love that my friends are fortunate enough to be having babies.  I’m all for a new generation being brought up by these incredible people in my life…but as their arms begin to overflow with love, I am forced to stare down at my empty arms and empty ring finger and wonder when it’s going to be my time.  And if “my time” will ever happen in my lifetime.

Luckily I know better than to crawl in a hole and wait out the sudden influx of babies.  I also know better than to hang my head in shame every time I hear the announcement of another couple who is expecting.  I’m not yet married and not yet a mother, but I’m strong.  Strong, you ask?  Yes, I’m strong, because I have no other choice than to be.

I carry arm loads of grocery bags to the door and manage to get my key in the lock without spilling anything (or losing a finger due to my lazy man’s load cutting off precious blood flow).  I take out the trash and take my car to get the oil changed.  I pay all of the bills, and I even kill spiders and other creepy crawlies.  I don’t have an option not to do those things for the time being.

But I’m strong in other ways too.  I am strong in my faith and knowledge that my God is providing me this time in order to grow in my relationship with Him, rather than delving deeper into a relationship with a man in order to be the next one with a bump.  I’m strong as I don’t give into the temptations of this world in “hooking up” with the next single guy that greets me at the grocery store.  I’m strong in my convictions to wait for a man that is worth becoming the father of my future children.  I’m strong because I choose to be.

So even though the endless line of baby bumps are a constant reminder of the people I don’t have yet in my life, I praise and thank God for the people who I do have around me.  And I know that if it is God’s will for “my time” to ever arrive, I’ll be better equipped to handle what life throws at me.

A husband, or not.  One child, or none.  As long as I’ve got God, I’ve got all I need.