Excited Newbie

At the beginning of the year, I created a vision board displaying all of the things I wanted to work on or thought would help me to be the best Bree I could be.

Four months ago I gave myself a “Self Check-up” and found that I have done pretty well with fulfilling most of the tasks that I have set out for myself.  I’ve definitely become more fit (at least in the last 6 months) in losing 27 lbs!  I’ve relinquished control on my love life, allowing God to take control on when and how this Mr. Right should enter my life, if at all.  I have been crafty (more evidence of this coming in a post next week) and managed to be more positive overall.

The one item that I have continued to struggle with even after 10 months into this restructuring of Bree is my confidence.

I follow Proverbs 31 Ministries on Facebook as I have been inspired time and again from the messages that I have heard from Lysa TerKeurst on KLOVE (Find your local station), and recently they had posted this image that really convicted me.

Someone once told me that, “If you doubt God, stop”.  I always felt that their needed to be more to that conversation. A reminder of what I’m to stop and actually do.

For many years I’ve struggled with doubt and poor self-esteem.  I’ve tried medications to relieve anxiety and depression.  I’ve tried counseling.  They all help for a time, but then the feelings creep back in and their attack is stronger and faster.  The only thing that I’ve found to really comfort me in those times and to banish the “blues” is scripture and studying the advice and encouragement of other Christians.

And so in June, after being in a funk that I was having trouble shaking, I added to Calm My Anxious by Linda Dillow (that I picked up on my trip to Minnesota last December), as well as the rest of my collection of books (check out what else I’m reading), The Confident Woman and The Confident Woman 365 Devotional by Joyce Meyer, as well as A Confident Heart by Renee Swope.  Immediately after purchasing Renee’s book, I saw a friend post something on Facebook about an OBS.  I had no idea what an OBS was and so I checked out the link.  OBS is an Online Bible Study – who knew? – and I found that through Proverbs 31 Ministries, there was a study that focused on none other than Renee’s book!  I was bummed to learn that registration had been closed, but I marked on my calendar to check back to be sure to sign up for the next one and Renee’s book has sat on my bedside table collecting dust since.

That eagerness to drive out the funk was still there.  It screamed at me to open the book and start reading, but another part of me said to hold off and wait for the next study, that having a fresh set of eyes on the book would be better than knowing what was ahead.  So now that I’ve waited almost four months to open this book, and Sunday, the start of the study, cannot come soon enough.  It’s going to be like Christmas!!